Is this one of those days? Yesterday you could take on the world. Today? You’re shaky and unsure of yourself. Vulnerable.
Most people do whatever they can to not feel vulnerable. It’s too uncomfortable. It’s like walking around with your insides on display.
Your first instinct may be to pull the covers back over your head, grateful for the protection of your bed.
Or maybe you shore up the defenses like you’re getting ready for battle. You know, hide the valuables sort of thing.
But the truth is, it feels like the face you’ve carefully crafted has no substance. And that you don’t want to reveal the truth.
Before you decide there is something wrong, let me reassure you that this feeling of vulnerability may be the Universe’s invitation to your next big step forward.
In fact, it’s your best opportunity for growth.
Danger, Danger!
I can feel you shaking your head in disbelief. So, let’s take a look at 4 deeply-held myths about vulnerability.
- Vulnerability is dangerous. People can see where you can be hurt. It’s either hurt or be hurt. You can be attacked. That brings along its sister-myth:
- When I’m feeling vulnerable, I must protect myself. There must be something out there to worry about, even if I don’t see anything!
- Vulnerability depletes your strength/confidence/power. You become drained when you allow yourself to be vulnerable.
- Being vulnerable is weak. People see you as a winner when you show your power. Invincibility is key to success.
Vulnerability can indeed be dangerous. There are situations in life that call for a show of strength, even when you aren’t feeling that way! But those aren’t what I’m talking about here.
You know the times I mean. When your inner alarm begins to shriek, yet there are no saber-toothed tigers nearby. Your body tightens up anticipating those sharp teeth anyway.
Here is the secret. It’s not the state of vulnerability that feels so scary. It’s your resistance to it and fear of it that create the disharmony.
Welcome the Vulnerability
What if you welcomed this feeling of vulnerability? If you stepped into it with curiosity? What if this is where you cross over into the new life you’ve been longing to embrace?
Change feels unsettling. It is uncomfortable. And so you want to hold on to what you’ve known. After all, that’s your safety net, in case things don’t go so well.
But it doesn’t bring you want you really want. Because on the other side of safety is the life you’ve longed for.
Change opens you to what is new, the next destination on your journey. It’s like the next breath. You wouldn’t hold on to your last breath for fear that there won’t be a next one, would you?
The Key
When I’m feeling vulnerable, I get curious about it. I go into the feeling in my body so that I can fully inhabit it. When you reside within your vulnerability, you realize that it is fluid. Instead of being threatened by the change, you are protected by its inherent nature to evolve and grow. You are protected not by putting on a suit of armor, but by allowing yourself the space to be where you are in the midst of change. Your own vulnerability takes you through, because in it, you are connected with your own true worth.
As you breathe, the feeling breathes. You get to inquire into the energy of this change. What it offers to you. How you can rise to this occasion.
And within yourself, answers come. You integrate this change and your energy matrix reorganizes into something new. Vulnerability transitions to inner support.
You become stronger and more resilient because of your vulnerability.
Until the next time change dances through your life and the process begins anew.
Your inner partner is ready. And so are you.
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Vulnerability seems so inherent in my nature I feel I accept it without thought. I agree that being curious and exploring are better options than putting a blanket over my head and hiding from the world. Working with this is better than battling vulnerability.
Yes, Roy! Ultimately, vulnerability is something to appreciate and let guide you, rather than to battle.
Beautifully put! Aho! Vulnerability is a challenge when dressing your truth and putting yourself out there. It takes great courage. I like to tell my clients when they are feeling this that they have done the hardest part already: they have allowed themselves to see the un-serving pattern, feel the old stored up hurt, and are now ready to take on a new-healthy way to experience the world without the old familiar mask. Very Powerful. And, there is so much more to it! Thank you for writing this!
Thanks Crystal! Vulnerability has such rich gifts for us. Vulnerability comes when we are moving into something new–new energy, untapped potential being activated, unrealized gifts.
Love this: “When you reside within your vulnerability, you realize that it is fluid. Instead of being threatened by the change, you are protected by its inherent nature to evolve and grow.”. So true and when I feel connected to my vulnerability is when I find others can connect to me more easily.
Oh yes Rachel! I find that to be true for me as well.
Excellent article Laurie. You gave me a new perspective with this sentence, “Most people do whatever they can to not feel vulnerable. It’s too uncomfortable. It’s like walking around with your insides on display.” We humans grow up learning to hide our vulnerability, and as you mention, it can become one of our greatest opportunities for growth. If we learn to ‘flow’ with the process, we have the ability to strengthen our inner self – which reflects into the outer world. xo
This comes into play in what you wrote about recently, Debra—the shifting frequencies on the planet and how we are impacted by that. As our vibration changes, we often feel a great vulnerability. Not because something is wrong, but because we are changing into someone new.
I’ve adopted a suggestion from Cheryl Richardson that asks us to put our arm around our vulnerability like a little child and assure it that you are there for it, you have its back, and you will never let it get hurt. Great post!
Thanks Barb!
Wise words Laurie! Vulnerability is not something we often speak or write about. Thank you for taking a “deep dive” into the concept and giving us tools to embrace it. Change is indeed all around us and facing and embracing change necessitates us being vulnerable and open to new possibilities. Appreciate you sharing your wisdom and experience with this concept and the beliefs, feelings and opportunities associated with it.
I think this is the first time I’ve written about this, Pamela. With all of the change that surrounds us these days, it’s a timely “dive”, it seems.Thank you for your comment!
The pic with the guy standing naked in the train station really gives a sense of what it feels like to be vulnerable. Brene Brown’s work on this is amazing too. Thanks for sharing reflections.
Thanks for your comment, Debra!I thought that picture captured the feeling, too.