Patterns that hold you back: See them and leave them.

This is the second part of a series written in response to Shannon M., who asked, “Why is it so difficult to figure out how to operate this thing I call me?”

patternsThink about it. Has it ever occurred to you that much of the way you live life is the expression of  old patterns?

These patterns, sometimes carried by your parents, developed and were unconsciously adopted by you. Historically, these patterns were carried forward from previous generations and they have the potential to continue into the next.

Have you identified your patterns of behavior, patterns which were formed long ago? It is helpful to cultivate a practice of self-reflection, so that you can see your patterns.

Patterns Create Feelings

Why? Because these patterns inform the way you feel about yourself and those around you. They don’t exist in a vacuum!

Did you feel celebrated throughout life and unconditionally loved? Do you feel in touch with your life direction and how it has unfolded? Does your life feel aligned with the deepest sense of who you are?

Did you feel comfortable in your life as you grew up? Have you felt you were different from your family members, like you were not understood?

Consider the pictures you have about yourself now. Do they fit who you feel you are? Perhaps your nature is to dream big, “painting” images in broad swaths of color, while those around you are focused on maintaining the current structure, connecting only the dots that are visible.

Is living life in the status quo fulfilling to you?

Your experiences shape the way you think about life

It’s how you developed your theories about yourself and the way the world works. Did you decide that the world is a scary place? Have you believed that you were unlovable? Do you have expectations of how you should be?

If you live your life according to your theories, you will constantly judge yourself to see if you measure up. You can aspire to be something, but that doesn’t mean that you can actually live it, or that it even suits your inner nature.


So tell me, how comfortable do you feel in your life? Do you feel the need to stretch beyond where you are?

Perhaps you are ready to create new pictures of yourself. It’s the next step on the road to being who you truly are.

You are ready for this, aren’t you?

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
~ William Shakespeare

Take Time to Reflect

mountain and lake

Take a breath. Release it. Take another. Devote some dedicated time of concentration/meditation. It doesn’t need to be hours of quiet, perhaps only 15 minutes. Then allow the question to simmer within you through the weekend. Let responses bubble up into your awareness. Notice new ways of thinking, of images or ideas that arise spontaneously. Pay attention to your dreams. Let it happen. Be aware. See where it leads you next. Let yourself savor this process of receiving from yourself. Don’t judge whatever comes up, just receive it. Make notes.

You may want to share something from this process. Sharing is an important way to anchor an insight in your body. It leads you to deeper insight. It stimulates action.

Share what moves you!

Next week: Expressing your foundation: How do you go beyond self-doubt, that crippling lack of confidence in yourself?

Ready to have a virtual cup of tea with me and talk about where you’ve been (and where you’re heading)? Reach out to me here to schedule a complimentary sessionThis will guide us on how to move forward, together.


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