Responding to a recent post, Shannon M. wrote, “Why is it so difficult to figure out how to operate this thing I call me?” Such a remarkable question called for a deeper exploration that has evolved into a 3-part series.
Part 1 begins with a look at how your life foundation was built.
As a baby… hold me, feed me, love me.
You first learned about the world through the ways that people felt and acted towards you. Your needs were simple and immediate. What were you taught? How? By whom? Did you feel safe? Were your needs recognized and satisfied in a loving way?
The first experience of the feeling of love became imprinted into your body during this time. This set into motion the development of your belief systems.
As a child… you tested boundaries as more of the world became available for exploration. As you grew, you determined which actions felt good to you and which met with outside approval. You learned whether being loved was tied to that approval. Were you compliant, or were you always testing? Were you curious and inquisitive?
How did the outer world respond to you?
As a young adult… your world became even more accessible to explore. Did you venture out beyond your family opinions? This was the time you began to learn about trusting yourself and your instincts. You formed assessments about your talents and abilities.
When you were faced with an obstacle, was it your nature to look for ways to overcome it? Did you trust that you knew what to do?
As an adult… you are able to reflect on your ways of acting and interacting, uncovering the patterns that you internalized earlier. You start to understand whether you felt “conditionally loved.” As you grew, you created and adopted theories about life.
Now, as an adult, do you test your theories against your inner experience in order to determine their validity? Or have you molded your inner reality to fit the boundaries of your theories and what society deems appropriate? Have you stretched yourself beyond your perceived limits?
Are you afraid to test the waters? Or are you ready?
Take a breath. Release it. Take another. Devote some dedicated time of concentration/meditation. It doesn’t need to be hours of quiet, perhaps only 15 minutes. Then allow the question to simmer within you through the weekend. Let responses bubble up into your awareness. Notice new ways of thinking, of images or ideas that arise spontaneously. Pay attention to your dreams. Let it happen. Be aware. See where it leads you next. Let yourself savor this process of receiving from yourself. Don’t judge whatever comes up, just receive it. Make notes.
You’re invited to share something from this process. Sharing is an important way to anchor an insight in your body. It can lead you to deeper insight. It stimulates action.
Feel free to use this arena to share whatever moves you!