How do you consider your true worth? What really matters to you?
Seeking Approval
For most of my life I have watched an unfolding which has helped me to build a stronger sense of self-worth. Approval patterns dominated much of my early life until extreme situations burst my illusion of needing approval from the outside world.
I discovered the outside world was influenced by other peoples’ needs, ideals and agendas. I discovered that the only responsibility we truly have is to ourselves and our thoughts, to pay attention to our own lives. When we try to influence the lives of others from our opinions, agendas or needs the result is often not the result we seek or want.
Encoded within us at incredibly deep levels are memories of each experience we have had in the past. In some cases these are memories of things that were dramatic and ongoing while other experiences appear to be one-time occurrences. Each memory has the opportunity to stand out in our minds as we reflect on the past. The intensity of an experience colors the memory. How it relates to our world at a given point in time determines how we remember the situation. We choose to modify the true picture as our desire and agenda influences our interpretation of any occurrence.
Our Stories Reveal Our Perspective
Recently I was at a family dinner and my brother told us a story. He and his family and I had taken a day trip on a small twin engine plane to the capital of the Dominican Republic. On our return flight the engine sprung an oil leak, disabling one of the engines. The pilot decided to find a place to land the plane. We landed on an old landing strip, now a sugar cane field. Upon landing we were greeted by the local militia with their guns drawn. Once they realized we were not running drugs and not a threat they transported us back to the airport so we could return to our resort.
At dinner my brother had a different twist to the story where he had defended the plane, single-handedly saved his family, negotiated for their lives with the militia and then returned to civilization. He must have forgotten that I was also on the plane. My experience was radically different! I chose not to comment or burst his bubble.
As we remember the past we each have our stories. As I recount an experience it becomes little more than a story. The past is past! When a story resurfaces the only real opportunity is to see if there is a new realization that surfaces with it.
Worries that have Worries
I am a product of my family. My mother worries. Her worries have worries! Worry links the possibility of future events with the present. It takes away from what is happening right now. I have noticed my inherited pattern is to run scenarios which create worry!
Taming my worries, I remind myself that change is in the works. If I let my worry get out of hand, I have sleepless nights. In my case a great aspect of worry is that it slows the process of change. It allows me to look at my decisions and the variables. Once my mind orients to change, I surrender to what is happening and my body becomes peaceful. I no longer have my mind’s distraction and I can take my next steps.
True Worth Found
Our true worth is available at any moment. It is realized when our mind is quiet and we are with our own thoughts. The quiet allows us to relax into ourselves without distraction. As thoughts emerge they are focused insights. They address our life, what is in our creative channels and the associated pictures or feelings. They act as our guidance system to navigate through life. There is a sense of timing for our actions. In some cases we feel pushed to take action while at other times we have a sense of impending change. Our worth reminds us that we feel freedom. There is little sense of outer distraction.
It is a “quietly active” world!
What about you? How do you experience your true worth?
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One Response
Wow Leon, this is a great article. I am reminded of my own filters and how I sometimes perceive situations very differently than others do. Thank you for sharing your family’s plane incident and the subsequent recounting of events. I see in my own life where discernment needs to come into play as I hear others speak and more importantly how I am invited today, to look more objectively at my own stories and past. Meditation helps me with this – to get to the truth of the matter – to get the insights of what really took place, which then always helps me move on…
Marie Ange